Trust me I have a life I'm not moping around the house
Good to know.
I noticed that the issue appears to be finances and I can totally understand the stresses that they cause. It also appears to me, that your W looks at you as the one to “bring home the bacon”. In my M, I was the one responsible for the finances and I have to say I really did not do a great job, that said, what I learned was that…I should have sat down and laid out the finances on a monthly basis. I’m not sure it would help but maybe if you sat down with her and BOTH of you came up with a realistic budget (and trust me I understand that you can be let go, until the next job comes around).
[/color] I agree with you that sitting down and doing a budget may help it certainly can't hurt.
At the end of the day, neither of YOU can redo the past. It is what it is BUY you can make changes for YOUR future. Those changes may require some cuts here and there but maybe if she is part of the process she will feel a bit better. The only downside to this COULD be that she may get pissed at the amount of debt that you guys have. So if you come up with a plan with her, let her vent and do not take it personal.
[color:#FF0000] Again you are right that we cannot redo the past. I'am not living in the past but my wife sure does. I've gone so far as to make her living in the past one of my boundaries. If she begins to bring up things that were done years and years ago then the conversation ends. I've told her my position on the past that it cannot be redone and we shouldn't live in it. Now again I'm talking about things that were done 10,15,20 years ago. If my W were too bring something in the recent past that was of concern or an issue then that is fine.
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My curiosity has gotten to me since my feelings are slowly starting to drift towards wondering if I can continue doing this.
For better or for worse……..This IS the worse part.
[/color] This certainly is the worst part. I truly feel like we are stuck in the mud going nowhere.
BTW, what else can you tell me about your W. What does she do, what hobbies does she have, etc.
[color:#FF0000] Her hobbies include volleyball. She plays sometimes twice a week and she helps one of her friends coach a grade school girl's team. My W also likes to out walking with my cousin and of of my W's friends almost every night. She's pretty active. Take tonight for example. She won't be home from work she is going with two of her co-workers to a women's kitchenware party. She told me the name of it but I'm bad at remembering these things sometimes lol.
I don't know if you saw a few posts back but my sons both said something to my wife recently about her never being home. Now my boys are 15 and 22 so they know what's going on. My W says to them that she doesn't want to be here(meaning in the house) that's why she is out all the time. She also said she is trying to save money to move out. If she had it she would be gone. I didn't say a word when she said this and my boys were like "yeah right". So who knows.
Eric thanks for taking the time to read up and to post I really do appreciate it and look forward to talking to you.
God Bless, Eric
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
