My M can be saved, but I need your help/advice!!!

[pearlharbr]

Oh and FTR, I liked your Scenario 4 Starsky…with on caveat …when MIR is ready…he gathers his…….

And my caveat would be that while MIR is waiting to be ready his W continues her A and becomes more entrenched in it. Let's face it, if she has two men wooing her and meeting all of her needs she's probably not going to give that up willingly. It's human nature.

The reason that confronting a wayward spouse works is that it bursts their cake-eating bubble. If done correctly it shows that the LBS has self respect, healthy boundaries, and will not tolerate disrespectful behavior.

MIR, I noticed in your early posts that you want to know if the people giving you advice had success with it. That's a good idea especially when you're getting differing opinions. Yes, I did save my relationship by following the advice of Starsky and others. The whole situation, from first bomb drop to him ending the affair and asking to reconcile, lasted about four months; I'm positive it would have been shorter if I had exposed the affair and enforced my boundaries earlier.