Rough: I've been here occasionally reading but haven't posted much because there's really just not anything to tell. We still have not really had a single conversation since we seperated. I see her often and we're in the same places and are cordial, but she obviously tries to avoid me so I don't press it. Im living life each day with a smile on my face and an empty spot in my heart/soul but it gets easier all the time.
Anotherstander: Its a common theme isn't it? That you become what they claim to have always wanted yet they want nothing to do with you. For my part I will say that if we ever have a chance to work this out its simply going to take time and consistency of her SEEING me be different. I haven't once tried to tell her what im doing differently or how I feel different, I simply hope that my life shows that im someone she would like to get to know. And honestly even though we're ony 4 1/2 months in it would be necessary for us to get to know one another again. Im so different than I was.....the old me creeps in just a bit once in a while, but its becoming much easier to recognize because I dislike what it looks like so much.
I will say the only real issue I have with my life right now is that loneliness I spoke of before for closeness with someone. My friends and their wives are awesome and have really been great to me, but there is still always going to be an emptiness until I start seeing either my wife or someone down the road. Im not great at doing alone and really dont have any interest in long term singleness (is that a word?) but not because im clingy or needy, but im very social and want someone to talk to and share with and be shared with.
But life is good, so im smiling and have lots to look forward too.....for those of you that have been in this situation longer i've got a question for you. ( I know the answer I think...just want confirmation). Im thining of booking a cruise for March for my son and I during spring break....but dont know what that means if she and I are back together or trying to get back together when that time comes. Obviously I'd hate to do that and we start working things out, but in the same breath Im not willing to wait forever to 'live' on the off chance she decides to work things out.....thoughts?
