I am blessed with great friends who are listening to me and supporting without giving advice except for saying take care of yourself, learn about yourself, be healthy, get out and do things and in the end it this is meant to be it will be.
You are blessed indeed, most of the time family and friends try to "fix" our marital problems (usually by telling us to dump the M) and they just make things worse.
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I don't want to make the same mistakes of validating myself via another person, I have to work on myself and discover that I am enough, that I am responsible for my own happiness and I dont 'need' someone to make me happy.
Yes, exactly! If you're reading self-help books (and I hope you are) then you might consider The Happiness Trap, it goes deep into that very subject of happiness, where it comes from, etc. It's also a great book for helping understand and accept the emotions associated with grief. I particularly like how the book explains all emotions are valuable and we shouldn't give them good and bad connotations. It's unrealistic to expect to be "happy" all the time, the full range of emotions are normal and should be accepted rather than fought. The trick is to accept them without letting them affect our outlook on life, and that's where the book becomes a great resource.
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Anyway, I am out with friends tonight and I dragged myself to yoga this morning and have planned a beach walk with a friend n Sunday - taking small positive steps, it's all I can do.
Good! Yes, you have to drag yourself to these GAL activities at first. But do it anyway, even if you think you'd rather sit at home. Eventually you'll find that it doesn't take as much effort to drag yourself there, and then it doesn't take any effort because you WANT to go Stick with it, you're on the right track!
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As you said anotherstander life is indeed full of twists and turns and perhaps without them we would not learn and grow as we are forced now to do during these difficult times, wishing you all the best.
Great attitude to have I truly believe there is a reason for everything. Often we don't know the reason until later, and sometimes we may never know at all. But there is a deliberate purpose to it.
Stick with it, you're on the right track!