Keep in mind that even in Divorce Busting there comes a point where they talk about The Last Resort Technique, After the Last Resort Technique and Ultimatums. They say these are to be used when you have exhausted the patient waiting and trying to win back your spouse to a better you. The danger is that you can en up in limbo for a LONG time until you decide to use these techniques.
Limbo is NOT a place you want to be. What happens in limbo? Often:
- erosion of the family's finances, as sometimes two residences are maintained, legal fees are incurred (by one or both parties), family finances are spent directly or indirectly on the affair (gifts, large cellphone bills, trips, etc. etc.)
- erosion of the betrayed spouse's self-confidence, emotional health and sometimes even physical health (and I'm not even TALKING about the very-real STD issue here);
- strengthening of the emotional and physical bond between the affair partners. Affairs are highly addictive, and like most (all?) addictions, they usually ESCALATE before they ever peter out (if they even do).
- children (where applicable) suffer. Kids are sensitive, and the stress in a home that has been invaded by adultery is NOT pretty. Kids are left confused, hurt, sometimes unsupervised and almost always traumatized in some way. Just ask the now-adults of their parents' childhood affairs and divorces.
- The cheating spouse themself suffers. Contrary to what us betrayed spouses think, they are usually NOT enjoying their affairs. Trying to live the level of deceit necessary to pull it off is unbelievably stressful, the guilt tears at them, they often lose close family and friend relationships as those people learn about the infidelity, and cheaters often lose weight and overall physical health and rigor. They are often borderline or outright depressed. IT'S NOT PRETTY. Nor is Limbo. It's no way for anyone to live the life that God gave them.
