Acceptance - My next challenge.

[chatterbug]

There are two type of people on this forum Arsene.

Those who seek out others in the same boat. They figure out what side of the boat that they are on. They look for people who will validate and offer hugs and support of Yea just be patient, Your doing well. Keep up the good work. Look the wayward is being nice to you so just stay this course. Yet you have just filled up the left side of the boat. So you row in a circle. Ever supporting ever moving forward yet always ending up in the same spot. When you get back to that spot you realize that some of the rowers have left so you seek out others in the same spot so you can carry on thinking your a good spouse by caring your burden and what ever you think their burden is. Around and around you go.

The there are others who realize that being nice and picking up crumbs is not a measurement of success. That doing what is right and difficult at times to move the boat forward is a far better path to take. A little support on the right to keep the path straight and a little questioning , soul searching , making difficult choices and realizing the goal they actually want.

Moving forward is the easier path.

Right now you are starting to distance yourself from anyone who does not see what you see, agree with what you think or who pushes you think differently.

Your goal has warped from : Being in a mutually exclusive marriage built on the pillars communication, trust , love , desire and friendship...

...to a place where you have a 5% of the time wife ( with no trust , true communication , love , desire or friendship ) and a part part time mother.. who gets her short little marriage in and then it is off to the OM again.

All your goals are to placate your wife and her continued adultery. None of them move you forward.

Unless your goal is to get back with your wife at the expense of yourself.

Why don't you take these difficult thoughts that people are giving you here and your goals to that IC who makes you uncomfortable.

Then when that is done ask her to work on or offer suggestions for you to grow out and move beyond being a victim.

This is not a 2x4 Arsene.

This is an observation based on a few years on forums such as this and basic human psychology.

I hope this post stings you so it will get you out of this place you have put your self in and built walls to keep you there. Or at least makes you put a darn window in one of the walls.