Here we go again...

[ericmsant2]

Someguy

So I read your last post….

I noticed that you mentioned PMP, so you must be a project manager (so am I). What I wanted to say, that your sitch is not a project. To some extend you cannot treat it as project with phases i.e. business case, scope, requirements, development, testing, etc. Get me?

Things I failed to maintain since five months ago
1. Let her go out and don’t question who/what/where
2. When she is annoyed/worked up, get worked up with her instead of trying to calm her down

I want to point out something that I noticed…. “let her”…Think about that for a sec. “Let her”. She is not your property dude.

As for getting worked up with her…I’m not sure I understand that. Do YOU want to be worked up? Why would you want her actions to dictate how YOU feel?

I made a few changes to your personal goals…
Personal (these could be 180s?)
1. Be happy and strong FOR MYSELF. I hope that this would be a great influence around Son.
2. Find new activities to do with Son.
7. Read PMP Certification book….FTR, the PMBOK is a beast to read. Just sayin….
9. Learn how to comfortably talk with people and be less of an introvert
10. fit exercise in the day-to-day schedule

3. Offer to watch Son so she can go out?? (undecided)

One you are not her father and I take it this almost sounds a bit like…you are going to “let her”. I would suggest coming up with a parenting plan. For example, maybe you guys swap every other weekend. This would allow her and YOU to plan your own time away from your son.

But this really annoyed me because she knew I had this outting planned for weeks and wasn't sure when I would be home.

Don’t answer the Phone next time.

She asked me, "Do you want to talk tomorrow night or are we going to be pretend fake chipper the rest of our lives?" I responded with, "I don't know what's fake, but sure." She said ok and turned to leave.

“She asked me…do you want to talk” – Why did you say YES if you really did not want to. IMO, not standing up for what you want/feel is not an attractive trait. If you were unsure if you wanted to talk you could have said…not sure, I’ll get back to you. Instead it seems like you agree to do something that YOU did not want to DO.

But I'm terrified of what she may say in a conversation

FEAR is a killer dude. She may not say anything or she may. Who the F knows. You can’t worry about it because you really cannot CONTROL it (as Project Managers we tend to want to control). All you can control is how you deal with it. If you are not sure OR do not want to talk, then say so. A simple “I not sure how I feel I need to think about this and get back to you” should work.

Some – not everything needs to be on HER timeline.

I have a work call at 9PM and need to have clarity and composure for the call.

Then explain that to HER.

Oh and I agree with AnotherStander…Don’t even try the sex thang….let her initiate.