Kicking a$$ and taking names!

[reachingHigher]

Thanks, snodderly. I needed that! I am ready. For boundaries. For not being his mom any more.

I shouldn't be so worried about the visitation either. He has promised S12 since the beginning of the summer they would take a few days together and do something fun -- waverunning, dirt biking, boy stuff. Is this mid-October? Next week, H is going for two weeks for Florida/Puerto Rico vacation but hasn't taken S12 anywhere. It's not like I think that'll change a whole lot. And if H did become more interested, it would most likely be better for S12.

Your quote: "He doesn't realize that divorce comes w/consequences."
How very true this is.

My boundary will be this Puerto Rico trip. I'm going to tell him visits with S12 will be elsewhere after that. Me not included. I'm not going to be taxi service.

H also said he will fix up a few things around the house for me that he let go. I think that is a bad idea. It is like the texting thing. Gets his foot in the door as a way to see me. Or act like he is visiting boys when he really isn't.

I can either learn to do the stuff myself or hire someone to do it for me.

And let me ask you about this. In one of my softer moments (or crazy?) I said we could share ownership on our SUV. I feel bad H is only going to have a two-seater car and I'll have three cars. I really need the SUV living out here in the country. So...I told him we could share. It's sounds like a REALLY bad idea, doesn't it? At least I didn't sign for it. I still feel like his mom--wanting to take care of him.

And he is offering me less money than what I have in my expenses. And that was before income taxes. Did he want me to negotiate? He says we spend too much on food. Hello? I have two teenage boys. And we eat the way we always have.

He talked about just filing for D without using a L to save money. But that's a bad idea. I also said we would split our savings about $15K after D fees. He pointed out that meant I would pay for D too, which I didn't realize. So we are going to split it first, then he pays for D. So at least he is fair there, which I did appreciate.