Back to Square One?

[Wendylon]

Thank you very much, Tori, for spelling out your suspicions and for your encouragement. I'll look for your thread.

Again this morning, H's laptop was on his desktop screen by the time I got into the kitchen. He sits with S13 as he has breakfast but can't even do that without his laptop in front of him. It looks weird because he's staring at his desktop which I'm sure is not what he's doing just before he hears my footsteps. I was tempted to snoop yesterday because S17 called him upstairs to borrow something and his laptop was unsupervised for a few minutes on the kitchen table. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I didn't have my glasses with me so couldn't see a thing.

I would drive myself crazy if I went down the snooping/PI route. Also, when would I decide I had enough information? I could get addicted to knowing what he's up to and I'd rather put the energy, time and money into becoming someone that H wants to hang out with.

A positive this morning: H called up to me by saying, "Wifey". He used to call me that when we first got married and it's always been used affectionately. I was really pleased.

I have been better with WOA. He picked D15 up at midnight from school last night and I said how lucky D15 was to have a father like him. He's also taking her to a full day of rounders out of town tomorrow and he's also volunteered to drop her off at the train station before 5am on Tues. He is really good at chauffeuring the kids around and esp D15 since she's the main one who is involved in activities.

I've also been better at listening to his views on current affairs. He likes to hold forth and it's not really my thing but I've been listening because I realise that he enjoys it and if I'm not listening, I'm sure someone else will! Even the fact that he's taking the time to talk to me is a plus.

Finally, last night he made a point of being back in time for supper. He'd asked when we'd be eating and wasn't sure at first that he could make it back in time but then did.

Like AnotherStander, I don't want to overestimate the importance of these steps but I do think that my changes are leading to some positives.

I keep saying it but the wisdom and encouragement on this board is so precious. Thank you so much, all of you.