Most pursurers are afraid to stop pursuing. That is completely natural.
So I understand your reluctance to completly drop the rope.
So if your wife is in MLC, how do you measure what works? Can you win the battle and lose the war?
What do you think is going to make your wife come out of her depression?
My wifes younger sister died 7 months before BD. We slept in the same bed for a year after BD. Then in separate rooms for 19 months after that. I have been where you are.
You know this is all a crapshoot, you can do everything perfectly and still fail. Or you can do nothing right and reconcile.
I do know that their is real science in a lot of DB. It is counterintutive. So you must be able to make sense of being in a world that looks like Alice in Wonderland.
When all gets said and done - you do get to decide. The question is when you get to that point. Will you care?
