Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

Hopeful - it is amazing how much the dynamics in our M's seem to be the same. Glad to have someone here who gets it!

Tomorrow we are going away for our camping weekend. Still not riding in the same car, but it's actually easier not to because we have so much gear. He goes early and sets up and I can stay back and deal with the dogs and the last minute stuff.

I'm feeling pretty good about things right now. Even though I did most of the work getting ready for the campout, I'm not feeling too resentful. Honestly I like to handle it because then I know where everything is and I have some control over the situation. H and I packed his car together this afternoon and that went just fine. I told him that I just wanted to spend time with family and friends and have fun this weekend.

It will be interesting to see if he accepts me as one of his own this weekend or casts me aside in order to save face (which makes no sense). As far as I know, we're attending meals together. He's made no mention that we would be doing things separately this weekend... so I'm going into it as if everything were "fine."

In reality things are probably better between us now than they were last year. We're communicating better and thinking more. He's not reaching out to me yet, but I hope that will come back in time.

I'm so grateful for this site and for all of you. I couldn't have made it to this point without you. 4 months ago, I was exiled to my parents house and my H was guaranteeing me we'd get a D. I was absolutely desperate. Now it looks like we're off that cliff and hopefully walking back down the hill to some sort of a normal existence! Only time will tell - and I've learned not to get too excited about any of it. One step at a time.