Hi anotherstander - that really help, thanks so much for taking the time to write and I hope that you are having a positive day too. I know I must stay strong and believe in the process and continue to work on myself. I am going to respect my H wishes for no contact as he works out his own emotions and thoughts and I need to give myself the space and time to do this myself too. I am blessed with great friends who are listening to me and supporting without giving advice except for saying take care of yourself, learn about yourself, be healthy, get out and do things and in the end it this is meant to be it will be. I spending time with friends as much as I can and trying not to be alone too much as I find that soooooooo hard, in those moments of great sadness all I want to do is be held - hence the dating, which I know is crazy really and I have to find the strength to go on this journey alone, I don't want to make the same mistakes of validating myself via another person, I have to work on myself and discover that I am enough, that I am responsible for my own happiness and I dont 'need' someone to make me happy. That I think is the biggest lesson I must learn. I worry for my H too, though, I wonder how he is coping, I hate so much to think of him sad, he too is dealing with so many emotions as he battles working out his childhood hurts that have come up in therapy. I am continuing to go to therapy alone as is he, we went together for a while until H decided that he wanted to separate, but he still sees the same lady I do so I am glad he has that support, his network of friends is not as big as mine and I worry for him. We moved out here to australia together 5 years ago and we have no family here, makes it extra hard. Anyway, I am out with friends tonight and I dragged myself to yoga this morning and have planned a beach walk with a friend n Sunday - taking small positive steps, it's all I can do. As you said anotherstander life is indeed full of twists and turns and perhaps without them we would not learn and grow as we are forced now to do during these difficult times, wishing you all the best. Stay smiling,
