Well in the light of living authentically, something seems a bit consistent through XH behavior which is a little baffling.
Ok it's clear that XH is EXTREMELY CAREFUL as to when he contacts me and who he even shares this with.
It appears he saves his texting and open conversations only to when he's completely alone or alone with the kids, and absolutely no OW. He no longer seems to inform BIL or SIL about things going on with the kids that we converse about recently and often. I've narrowed it down to the days and time of day I can expect good communication from XH about things and when it will come to an abrupt stop. And it always revolves around him having very private time, almost always when he's at home and OW is at work.
What I wonder if he's worked overtime to make me look crazy to everyone and that he's told everyone he hates me, yet to my face he's very nice. Or he's doing his usual secretiveness, and figures what he and I talk about is no one's business and doesn't even want to give any hints that we've been speaking to eachother. He no longer informs BIL or SIL of things going on with our girls when he used to. Of course if he did, that would indicate he's speaking to me.
When I mention to BIL and SIL that I've spoken to XH they get this look on their face like they don't know if they should Sh!t or go blind! Which I have to say cracks me up to be honest!
I was told that OW is very jealous and sounds very controlling to me, so I figure that's what it's based on. Gee how's that for living authentically. I actually feel sorry for him yet at the same time appreciate that sitch. Honestly if he thought I was controlling.....I think he's really learning what true controlling is!
Can anyone enlighten me on why and MLCer would choose to be so secretive? I just question if he's getting a perverse pleasure of being so kind to me on the side, while he very well may be posing as he hates me to others.
I've looked at this from my living authentically point of view. And I've decided to just let it go! It disappoints me that he may feel he needs to do this and either isn't being true enough to himself to have the courage to build a new relationship with me at least as awesome co parents. Or that he's with someone that's so controlling he feels he needs to do this for his own sanity. If he feels the need to sneak around to have to speak to the mother of his beloved children, then he's the one not living authentically, not me!
So Im just going to keep on being me, and not worry about this at all. Yes it's annoying sometimes but no reason to worry about it really. However if our relationship is to be based on sneaking around, EVEN FOR THE KID'S SAKE then that's not authentic. Therefore, we may never really get to rebuild because I have no desire to play these sort of games with him.
