I can tell you that as much as I pray my marriage works out, im at least glad that going through this has killed the old me and made me re-examine my life.
Wow, it's eery to read that because that's exactly what I told my W during MC. I said in a very real and literal sense the experience killed the old me and allowed the new me to spring up in his place. Right after BD I literally felt like I was dying. My heart may not have stopped beating, but part of me really did die and disappear and I doubt it will ever come back. The reborn version of me sees life from a completely different perspective and realizes that the things that the old me counted as important really weren't. The new me values family and friends instead of objects and things. The frustrating thing is that now I'm the H that W wanted all along, but now that she can have exactly what she wanted she won't consider it (at least, not yet).
