I assume you meant chatters not "cutters" approach.
Ayep - typo.
MIR, this is a tough one dude. I think you need to really layout the pros and cons for yourself and in your sitch. Remember, everyone here is different, our sitchs are different, the people involved are different. It really is not a one size fits all.
That said, you have made some progress with her and I don't think you want to reverse that. So, what does YOUR GUT tell you to do? Your male instinct?
IMO, this is a very sticky sitch, if you confront just as she is breaking it off with OM, well then you'll need to deal with the anger that may ensue instead of focusing on the solutions that appear to be working for you. On the flip side, if you do not confront before the your trip with her, then chances are it will be eating you up inside during the trip and it may come out and not come out in a "loving" way.
Another thing to consider...is your not wanting to confront her based in FEAR that you will lose her and so you are willing to accept this instead - or is it that you really feel that things are going smooth and now is not the time to confront her. Just know that once that door is open you can't close it. Once you bring it up, ya can't take it back. You will need to deal with it. Have the changes that you made really stuck? Have you given your changes enough time?
Starsky may be able to provide another perspective here.
My advice and take it for what it is worth.....Since you cannot take a day off from work and surprise her with a nice lunch or dinner (and FTR, I think taking the day off, even if you are not going to get paid is a worthwhile investment), then I would not say a word - YET. I would set an internal timeline for myself i.e. if we have a great trip and she does not end it in X days, then I will confront. I would also find out the legal ramification of if you confront and she decided or you do to D. You would want to be armed with the facts so that you can make the right choice for YOU.
I'll leave you with this....
Only you know what it truly best for you. A lot of time we are scared of change, scared of conflict and so we make choices based on fear instead of a place of health.
Make sure YOU understand why you are going to do what you are going to do.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
