Things I changed (180s) during our situation five months ago (Solutions Journal) 1. Dress nice = noticed and complimented 2. Act happy (choose to be happy) = noticed 3. Do the chores and keep the house nice = noticed and “appreciates” 4. Let her go out and don’t question who/what/where = comes home and leaves happy 5. When she is annoyed/worked up, get worked up with her instead of trying to calm her down (“OMG! That is ridiculous! What are they thinking?!”) = Her stress is quickly relieved.
Things I failed to maintain since five months ago 1. Let her go out and don’t question who/what/where 2. When she is annoyed/worked up, get worked up with her instead of trying to calm her down
Things I was going to work on and failed to do 1. Participate in her activities (learn & debate politics, discuss issues important to her) 2. Check in on her feelings towards sex life. 3. Do stuff for me to become more interesting. (read, go out with friends, etc.) 4. Talk about relationship 5. Get up with son more often when he wakes in the night
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Ideas for new 180s 1. Get up with our son if he wakes in the night. Get up much more often and get up HAPPILY. 2. Bring up political topic with opinion that is intentionally different than hers (I'm not sure about this one since it would involve engaging her in conversation. I've been remaining mostly silent unless she brings up a topic or there's something related to our son) *Don't question when she goes out. *? *? *?
I'm trying to come up with more 180 ideas but I'm struggling. Unfortunately she didn't give ANY hints when she dropped the bomb this time.
GOALS Personal (these could be 180s?) 1. Be happy and strong around Son. 2. Find new activities to do with Son. 3. Continue to sleep more 4. Work at work 5. Find a new hobby 6. Go out with friends 7. Read PMP Certification book 8. Read vegan books 9. Learn how to comfortably talk with people and be less of an introvert 10. Figure out a way to fit exercise in the day-to-day schedule
Relationship-My Actions 1. Validate when she speaks a. Look at her, stop what I’m doing, understand how she is feeling. How would a friend respond? 2. Remain positive and act AS-IF 3. Offer to watch Son so she can go out?? (undecided)
Relationship-Her Actions 1. Her to discuss our relationship with wavering opinion. 2. Her to make physical contact. 3. Her to bring up conversation not related to our Son. 4. Her to sleep in bed
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
