Again thanks for further clarification and thank you for the transparency link and for sharing what you did there. It appears that I am trying a hybrid approach as well because this seems to be what works. and as I have seen mentioned here one should seek out what works.
As for applying principles from 5LL, I took that approach because when my W and I sat down and had the initial conversation, I said that i was amidst making changes and there were some that she mentioned. this helped me to define and understand the differences in languages and since our (lack of)communication is a big part of the problem I am utilizing it to try and effectively communicate better. I am not relying on it solely as the fix.
Eric,
I assume you meant chatters not "cutters" approach.
I think your suggestion is great and have been trying to figure out how to do that. The deal is that I work and W has day off and following. After that we are on the longer trip and I just know that that trip will be great and do alot for us as a couple. This is why I really want to try and avoid her having contact w OM before then. Also I was then going to try and confront after the long trip in a manner that is fitting with the progress that we have attained. Unfortunately I just don't have the freedom to take as many days off. My only other option that I can see is to confront the nite before their planned day or possibly leave a letter, make a phone call/check in, etc. Each has its pros/cons.....any ideas??
