One additional comment, reading 5LL was a huge help for me in creating and understanding what I did wrong in the past number of years. It also has helped me to understand what my wife wanted and I wasn't providing on the emotional side of things.
As I said in the OP there has been acknowledgements by her of my changes and I feel that these would not have been so profound without my reading that book.
It's a phenomenal book. It's in my personal "Top 3" that I recommend to people. I think what 'bug is trying to tell you is that IT'S NOT TIME TO BE APPLYING IT YET. Learn for yourself, yes, but to try to apply these principles while your wife is still actively in an affair would be fruitless at best, and enabling at worst.
