Was this them the whole time ??? My 2nd thread

[ericmsant2]

Sunny

Eric you also said don't lie when she is not home in the morning - you think I should tell him she was out drinking with Aunt Genine - you said don't lie to my son --

Jack hit the nail on the head with his comment. When I said be honest, I meant to do not lie but at the same token do NOT put your kids in the middle of this. Do NOT (under no circumstance and that includes if you come home and she is boppin the local football team) USE your kids to make her "realize", "Feel", "come to her senses"..whatever you want to call it.

Be firm, be honest but keep them out of it.

"Mom is not home" or something along those lines is direct and to the point. And when they ask, and chances are they will..."where is she"...your answer should be "I'm really not sure".

I am worried about his emotional health

I get this...I do. Maybe I am wrong here and so if I am feel free to tell me to go pound sand. WHEN I FINALLY started to be really HONEST with myself and my rational for some of the things I was doing, I realized that 1) I was "using" the kids as an excuse to avoid dealing with things. I also came to realize that regardless of what happened (Divorce or not) that my XW was their mother and it was NOT MY JOB to always protect them. Did my XW make the same choices that she did before her crisis? NO. Did that make her a "bad mom". NOPE.

Here is the thing Sunny....

YOU cannot protect your kids for the challenges that is LIFE.

YOU cannot protect your kids from people who are ANGRY, BITTER, and well let's just say...totally freaking bonkers.

YOU cannot protect your kids from forming their own opinions.

What you CAN DO is...

Be a role model for them.

Live a life that YOU can be proud of (they will follow YOU if THEY choose to)

Be a parent and always do what YOU think is in thier best interest.

Allow them the freedom to make mistakes and not always try to fix it for them.

Finally, the biggest thing you can teach your kids is LOVE, COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING and RESPONSILITY...responsibility for thier own lives and choices.

God Bless,
Eric