The crack in my perfect life...

[AnotherStander]

I realize that I too had some fault with our marriage mainly being that I didn't stroke his ego enough.

It sounds like you're just placing the blame right back on H again. If your one and only fault in the M is that you didn't "stroke his ego" enough, then you must be a real saint Basically you're saying that your only flaw is not responding to his unrealistic needs. But we all have faults. Until you can evaluate what yours are and do 180s on them you have no hope of saving the M. He doesn't want to come back to the same old you.

He did text me over the weekend and said "I hope u r feeling well" which was the first time he has done this since I have been pregnant (almost 19 weeks!) I didn't respond, as it was not a question

There's no harm in responding if he texts you. But if you've "gone dark" then you should refrain from texting him. If he reaches out to you then be there for him. The key to detachment is to "lovingly" detach, this means giving the spouse time and space while still showing them compassion.

but I did end up texting him on Monday and asking exactly what I was not supposed to ask...."does any part of you want to save our marriage?"

You're right, you shouldn't have done it. Because he'll perceive it as pressure, and you won't like the answer you get. Nothing good comes of questions like this.

His response was that "its not possible because if it was, we would have already done it."

32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because she is hurting and scared.

We have always had each other and it breaks my heart to know that he can move on so quickly and easily after all we had and have together.

You'd have to read his mind to know that. Don't assume he's moving on "quickly and easily". You can bet he's having difficulty with it regardless of what he tells you. He is surely feeling guilt and shame and also wondering if he's doing the right thing. This is what giving them space and time is all about- they need to sort through this on their own and come to realize their mistakes.