Still together but trying to save this

[PeteWyo]

I actually do pretty well in social situations involving work. I don't really know what to think about it actually. I even talked to my therapist about that. I seem not to have anxiety when my mind is occupied. If I am doing something like giving a presentation or something in a group of people I seem to be fine. Sometimes I just can't get my brain to stop. I start thinking about something and imagine the worse case scenario and then obsess about it until I am immobilized with dread and anxiety. It is a bit hard to explain/understand unless you have felt it.

You are correct about the OM. He was a mutual friend of ours. The only thing that I can think of that he has that I don't is my wife. Seriously, I was so caught up in my own head that I didn't spend time enjoying my W and my M. I get that. He was there as a friend like I was in the beginning. They would laugh and have a great time while I was stressing out or avoiding people at home. He is actually a bit of a known womanizer and now apparently a convincing liar too. He has also been the OM in at least 2 relationships now, seems to be his MO. He broke up his most recent fiancee's marriage as well. She was married for a short period of time until he entered the picture. Whatever.

I am exploring other medications as well as traditional psychotherapy. At least I have a stop gap med that helps me if I start to feel this way again.

She is someone that cares more about how other people are feeling and what other people think than herself. She does like to be out and about, as did I before I developed this condition.
Actually, the OM is not, he is a bit of a homebody. At least he has been since I have known him. Where as I was only that way recently (increasingly so in the past couple of years).

I HAVE been going out. Even before my W moved out I was getting out all the time. Since I have aired out my anxiety issues to everyone I have been very social, much like I was a few years ago when I met everyone. That problem has essentially been solved by me admitting to myself that I had this issue. Now being happy is another story. I almost started crying when I went to lunch in the restaurant that I asked her father for his permission to marry my W the other day. I have the ability to detach but things like that sneak up on me and I can't help myself. I can certainly fake it, and to be honest I am a much better person and happier person since I have addressed and acknowledged these issues. Just bittersweet since I can't share that with my W.