Another issue is that we have yet another trip planned for a full week after this encounter is to take place. Which according to the planning we have done is going to be fantastic and she is really looking forward to it, but I would be crushed knowing that a physical encounter just took place. The crazy thing is that she has been telling him lies about our situation for a bit of time, while still not admitting the A to me.
Now some of you will say that the snooping I have done is wrong, but it is in my nature to collect information to help me understand things. People will say I need to detach, but that was a cause of the problem to begin with. My W requested that I share more physical touch and time together, and to say those three words to her. I have and the response has been great.
As I mentioned before she will avoid conflict at all costs which is why I feel I need to be the one to bring up the thought that I think she is having an affair. I have enough evidence that would build a story without having to share anything that would have been a huge violation of trust. I would only share these lighter things if she flat out denies it, then these would pretty much need her to admit. I should say that I have come to peace with what had happened and I want to forgive my W for this, but can’t until she admits it. I really want to save this marriage (I know it can be stronger than before) and it appears that she does as well (but then I hear the mantra around here of believe nothing she says, and half she does).
I have read here about some confrontations that have been successful. I am open to all advice but I would like to hear from those who have been there and faced similar situations. I am willing to forgive and I want to move on, but I need her to know this. I would have an opportunity to bring something up tonight and again possibly one time during our trip, and then maybe before this supposed encounter. Possibly asking how her processing is going or if she has any questions about our discussion? I know again several of you might say to never do this, but not all solutions will work with all people, and I really think I will need to initiate again.
I kindly ask this great community for help and guidance. I will monitor for responses and hope to have a good continuous dialogue with the community, as I feel that this is somewhat time sensitive.
