I practiced validating briefly this morning. I looked at her when she was talking, and listened.. really listened. She didn't seem to notice.
Drop your expectations! When you do these things expect nothing in return. At first my W wouldn't even make eye contact while we were talking, but I stuck with it. The conversations have improved and there is a lot of eye contact now. This is all about baby steps, not big moves. And it takes time!
Originally Posted By: someguy1233
This plan hurts deep. It was a sudden realization that up to this point her words were just words. Aside from not wearing her ring and sleeping on the couch, there had been very little action. Now she is looking for, and creating, more separation. For lack of a better idea, I agreed to her terms.
As well you should have. You'll see it said over and over again on these forums, but giving your spouse time and space will speed the healing process more than anything else you do. Don't fight her on her need for space, go along with it! Give it to her! In my opinion this arrangement is much more pleasant than having her move out, so use it as an opportunity to give her space while also keeping up with your 180's so that she can see them when she is around.
