Sunny

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Do you have children ???

Yes I do. Three…S18, S17 and D11.

Before I respond to your other questions…EVERY sitch is different…every one. You will need to find what works and does not work for you. The key to everything, at least IMO, is to really DETACH and begin to ask yourself some really hard questions. Add to that…FACING YOUR OWN FEAR and having to learn that YOU and YOU alone are responsible for YOU life. So, if you wanted to see what I did..and lord knows I made mistake after mistake after mistake….you can read my history (warning – it ain’t pretty).

As for your son what other options are available to you? Can you put him in a program during the day so that he gets the stimulation that he needs?

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My bigger concern is how impatient she is and how much she yells at him when he doesn't do everything exactly as she wishes which is impossible as he has focusing issues - any advice ???

First this may sound bad dude…but imo, it is the truth. You cannot make YOUR W be someone, right now she is not. Sounds bad I know. But really it is impossible for you to be there every second of the day. That said, maybe you can write up a daily schedule for him. Like 10 am – Breakfast, 11 – 11:30 – Reading time, 11:30 – 12:30 – Lunch and play time 12:30 – 1:30 – TV time (this way at least she feels what she thinks is best for him you are agreeing too).

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she is out of work and spending money we don't even have

Be careful here buddy. MLCers will spend, spend, spend. They feel entitled to it. While you are still legally married, you are responsible for the joint debt. Personally, I would sit down a put together a budget. If she cannot abide by it, then I would call the credit card company and have them freeze the cards so that you can stop the excess spending.

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She has spent over $12,000 on credit cards since April

Not good. I would send her an email or at a min. document a conversation you have with her that says that you will not be responsible for these debts. Also, do NOT use the credit cards yourself.

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She also took $1000 out of the saving account yesterday without asking me which is our rule for the saving account

This is a tough one dude, you are still legally married and depending on the state you live in, you may not be able to do much. You may want to find out a little bit about the divorce laws in your state. If need be, take the rest of the savings account money and pay off the credit cards and then close them.

You need to protect yourself. I am not saying file…I am saying protect you and YOUR son.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans