I suppose there may be some feeling of obligation on her part, but here’s the thing: We still live together and do things together. We actually go out to eat together every weekend. This Friday night birthday dinner would probably just be to a little fancier place than usual.
Avoiding R talks is our specialty. We often go weeks, even a month or more without any comments about it. I just tell her what’s going on in my life, and listen to her talk about hers. If we don’t maintain this connection, and build on it, how in the world would I expect a reconciliation to ever come about?
Maybe she just wants to do something nice for me? My friends also have Saturday night plans, so I can have fun with them then… I don’t need to hang out with ‘em both Friday and Saturday nights.
As for being mysterious here’s where we are: She always informs me of her solo plans ahead of time, both time and place, so I do the same. I see it as a courtesy to each other. We run the house together so it's helpful to know. If we will be late, we try to call. If I want to play the mystery card, then she will too. I see no advantage to doing this, and feel it would only be pulling us farther apart. I won’t be the one to initiate this tactic, and frankly, question how it's supposed to help us reconcile anyway.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
