My issue with today's exchanges involve the fact that I do not have extensive postings and judging the nature of my particular iceberg by the "tip" I reveal here is insulting. It would have been helpful if Eric's first contact had perhaps questioned, asked for clarification etc.
This is a good point. I would guess that most of us judge newbies by the fact that we were once one. And that after reading so many different stories of LBS's that we all seem to fit into a fairly specific mode.
The iceberg reminds me of a counselor named AL TURTLE who had a story about a lady and a bee
Quote:
One morning in the summer, we were giving a breakfast party to some guests on our back porch. A woman was sitting, after eating, holding a cup of coffee in her hand. Suddenly she leaped up, screamed, and ran across the porch. She stood shaking. I asked her, Wow, what happened? She replied, Didn t you see that bee? Now, I had seen a yellow jacket on the arm of her chair. I had seen it for some minutes, but until now I had not known that it was involved in her behavior. (This was an example of part of her logic that was above the water line.) I then asked her gently again, So what does a bee have to do with it? deathly allergic to bee stings! I felt a dawning sense of Oh, I see. She replied, I am This information was not above the water line. It was part of her story, but I could not see it unless she shared it. She then went on to tell me more about her reactions to bee stings. Finally she said, When I get a bee sting, my throat closes and I cannot breathe. If I do not get medical care in a couple of minutes, I may die. Thus, I always carry an Anaphylactic Kit with me to give myself a shot of epinephrine. I left it at home this morning! awareness and said, Ah, I see. At this point, I had a rushing sense of I understood her behavior. I could see its sense, her congruity. She went further. The first time I was stung, I lived in the town of Winnatchee, Washington. I don t recall the sting. What I recall was the room blurring and becoming all white, my mother running back and forth in front of me, and my dad hitting my chest. The next thing I knew I was in a hospital bed looking out a window at a city bigger and taller than I had ever seen in my life. She told me that her dad had been trying to help her breathe by hitting her chest. They got her to a local hospital, but fearing that she had brain damage from lack of breathing, they flew her in a small plane to a childrens hospital in Seattle and she didn't see anyone she knew for seven days. Her parents could not afford the drive and stay in the city until they picked her up. And she had not brain damage!
Sandra, my wife, seems brilliant me in Validating people without using words. She was on the backporch when that woman fled the bee. This is what Sandra did to Validate her. When the woman lept up and ran across the back porch, Sandra moved over close to her. When the woman said she was deadly allergic to bees, (1st Validation) Sandra took her hand, led her into the house, and loudly closed the screen door. When the woman said she had left her life saving kit at home, (2nd Validation) Sandra went over to her desk, opened a drawer, took out an Anaphylactic Kit, put it in the woman s hand and closed the woman s fingers over the kit. When the woman spoke of her 5 year- old experience in Winnatche, (3rd Validation) Sandra said, I my gosh! and that was all.
Now he has a lot more to say about icebergs and some of the material we talk about here, but this story always stuck with me.
I guess I am the opposite of you, there are thousands of posts on the internet that you can judge me by and ERIC too.
You have an iceberg up ahead and there is NO EASY way around it.
