Stand up. Poor and tired, but more than this.

[LIO]

I am at a loss.

Yesterday I lost it... I was so angry and upset and everything. Every emotion.

I figured he's got some sort of girlfriend or something now. He didn't show up to his apartment for a whole night. His personal business is HIS personal business, and not mine.
That didn't bother me... too much.

I actually don't know how to compose this - so it's going to be a verbal vomit.

This is a man who does not talk. at all.
He's angry, calling me names, swearing, yelling, sounds depressed, but says he's not. I'm having difficulties detaching right now.

He told me yesterday that 3 years ago, he felt like I didn't love him, I didn't want to be involved in his interests, I didn't care about what he was doing. So he went and found a girlfriend (now or then - I didn't ask)...
This is true. There are a lot of reasons for this. I always loved him - but other priorities and our stupid schedules got in the way, and I couldn't handle stress and loneliness.
He said that it didn't matter anymore, and everything was too little too late.
(This is ALSO the year that he got the first girl involved in a EA... so I don't know if it's just a excuse, justification at this point).

I rushed over to his apartment, gave him a huge huge hug and told him how sorry I was, and how I understood how he felt. I said "I can't do anything about the past, all i can tell you is that I always loved you, even then. and I won't abandon you like that again. I know you say it's too late."

I don't know what to do anymore.
Ignoring him just pushes him away further. Talking to him about our relationship makes him upset.