Wifes name, so i don't let you wait without reply, i am waiting for advice from a counselor Eddie has seen. Inconsistency is detrimental to him. Over the summer, you went 97 days with only 1 period of seeing our little boy. I have offered you many occasions to be more involved in his life over the months, even offering to leave you guys alone, but you often either did not respond or had plans with friends that you deemed more important than changing plans to spend time with Eddie. You have changed so severely from who you were before your mom got sick and you started drinking so much. Alcohol and partying with friends became more of a priority than your family, especially your only child. When your sister finally forced you to get back in touch, you agreed that Parenting Counseling would be a very good idea. You abandoned your family and deserted your son without any consideration to help support him for nearly 8 months. You are missing out on many of his daily and life accomplishments due to having your priorities for yourself instead of your only flesh and blood son. You have walked away from the 2 people who loved you more than anyone else in your entire life due to decisions you made during severe depression and thinking clouded by alcohol. Maybe this IS the Real You, rather than the wife and Mommy that you once so desired to be. You liked to be a home-body and according to what you wrote 2 months before your mom got sick..... You wrote, "When i die, i want to be remembered for being a good wife, a good mom and a good friend". How do you think you have done over the past 3 years and 9 months? You have your entire life ahead of you to improve your grade and still have a positive influence on Eddie.
The first words that jumped out at me were "our little boy". To me I see this as you trying to remind her that that was a good time in your lives and that is pursuing.
"You have changed so severely from who you were before your mom got sick and you started drinking so much. Alcohol and partying with friends became more of a priority than your family"
What do you have to gain by saying this to her? You have to ask yourself what good saying something like this to will do. You are showing your W anger. She knows what she is doing and doesn't need or want you to point it out.
"You abandoned your family and deserted your son without any consideration to help support him for nearly 8 months."
Again with pointing out her faults what does this accomplish?
"You are missing out on many of his daily and life accomplishments due to having your priorities for yourself instead of your only flesh and blood son. You have walked away from the 2 people who loved you more than anyone else in your entire life due to decisions you made during severe depression and thinking clouded by alcohol."
Again I see a lot of pursuit here and placing blame on her. Why?
"Maybe this IS the Real You, rather than the wife and Mommy that you once so desired to be. You liked to be a home-body and according to what you wrote 2 months before your mom got sick....."
Now you are telling her who she is. Lots of anger here.
"You wrote, "When i die, i want to be remembered for being a good wife, a good mom and a good friend". How do you think you have done over the past 3 years and 9 months? "
This here is trying to lay a guilt trip on her and you trying to get her to come back to you by telling her something she wrote when times were good and that goes against DBing.
"You have your entire life ahead of you to improve your grade and still have a positive influence on Eddie."
Now you are telling her what to do or what you expect of her. How do you really think she will react to this? I see pursuit by you. I see anger and I see a ton of blame by you. I see this as an attempt by you to wake her up and guess what? It's not going to work in fact it's going to have the opposite effect. It's going to send her running and most likely really wanting to D you.
I know you are angry and hurt and want what's best for your son but it's time for you to ask yourself if she is what's best for both of you. You have been through hell for over three years and IMHO it's time to let her go. You cannot rescue your W Ed. She has to want to help herself that's the bottom line. Is this the person you want back? From reading your posts I really think that the person she is now is who she truly is. How much longer do you want to put yourself through this? At this point the only person hold you back is YOU!
I can tell you that if I were in your shoes that I would go dark on her. I would live my life without her and enjoy it just like she is doing to you. Ed it's time for you to "man up" and reclaim your life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because I believe that you do. We have been telling you to GAL and I do not see where you have done that and until you take the bull by the horns you are going to be where you are forever. Your W is not your life stop making it like she is.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
