Here's the question of the day... At least once per day she asks a variation of, "How are you doing today?" "How are you?" etc. These aren't generic small talk questions; she's doing a temperature check.
What's the best way(s) to respond while maintaining my AS-IF mentality? I don't want to give her the brush-off, but I don't want to seem down either. Thoughts?
That's actually good, she's initiating communication with you. This would be a great opportunity to touch on things that happened to you that day and then ask her how her day went. Even though she may be expecting a "good, bad, happy, sad" answer from you, don't go there. Just use it to create expanded dialog. Say things like "it was a great day, I've been working on a project and finally got it finished, so that was a relief. How did things go for you?" The goal is to try and get her to feel comfortable talking to you. When she talks, listen intently. Don't be distracted. Make eye contact. Lean forward. Nod. Ask a question here and there. Validate any emotions she talks about, "wow, that sounds frustrating. I'm sorry to hear you're going through that." Make it about her as much as you can.
We've had plenty of small talk while carpooling to work the last couple days... so the dialogue is still open. There hasn't been any anger from either of us since she dropped the bomb two days ago.
Unfortunately these questions typically come via email, where I feel it's much harder to validate.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
