My parents visited from out of state. They knew we were having problems but not that a OW was part of the picture.
Sat am at my S's baseball game my husband asks to go for "a walk" - very strange. He tells me that OW sent him a pict of her in a t-shirt. He replied with a very sexual e-mail. He explained this as a "flirtatious game" they have played (but only twice-?). She sent it thru her home e-mail accidentally & her H intercepted it. My H said he wanted me to know in case the H showed up this weekend. OF course I was devastated and sickened about the e-mail.
Well, Monday afternoon he DID show up with a printed copy in hand as well as the imfamous t-shirt. He was very angry & apparently wanted to talk to me to let me know what he knew. Long story short he eventually left after I'd taken the email & his phone #. This guy scared the daylights out of me--like I thought he was going to pull a gun & shoot my H! My parents witnessed this through the window too. Luckily our children were distracted and were not exposed to the scene.
My husband called this a "wake-up call" for him. He realized in order to NOT have this guy return and potentially endanger our family he had to stop communication with HER. So, Tues he "broke it off" via email with her all the while reading me every one of his and her emails to "keep me informed."
He was planning to move out but now it's up in the air. He dropped the INILWY (again) and told her he still loves her.
Of course I'm thrilled they won't be comm anymore, but they still work together & he already said he would talk to her at school if she would still talk to him (& they did today apparently).
The whole reason he said he needed to move out was to "figure things out" and "find himself". Well, even though she isn't a complete part of the equation FOR NOW, she still is there and her divorce will be final in 1 1/2 months so then he may decide to start comm with her.
He already started to go into "cold mode" and definitely was crying about her last night (grieving her)...I really don't know if he can stay away from her. He is contemplating the whole "move out." I don't know whether to support that decision--as he is clearly very screwed up, or whether to give the opinion that he should stay (for the kids presumable, but really so we are still together in the house and can comm when/if he chooses).
Need advice! What about the comm at school? DOesn't this just keep it burning with the OW??
I want him to stay but I really think he NEEDS to go to figure things out. I think it is a risk either way. Advice???
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
