She has a sitter lined up, yes? Then you need to do nothing different from your plans. It actually is how reality will be if you two separate or D, she needs to get a taste of it...the mlc'ers have all these ideas of how great things will be if only they were rid of the LBS, most are reality deficient, and all the real ramifications are NOT thought through. My W had some wild ideas, sort of funny now, but not then, oh, definitely not then...
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but from what I understand she is telling people she is divorced when that absolutely is not the case
Legally? No. Emotionally and cognitively, she feels/thinks she is, so therefore, she is...
Try not to get hung up on these things, they think all sorts of things to justify what they are doing, and, though they all have a basis in reality, they amplify them to push away whatever it is they feel cognitive dissonance about.
As far as the discomfort with the non-speaking...if she were stricken with a painful, life threatening disease like cancer, how would you interpret the silence? How would you act differently? How would you THINK differently? What would you expect differently? Somewhere on this forum I read that the mlc'er IS fighting for their life internally...this helped me find patience, compassion...and better coping with MY discomfort skills, and it WAS MY discomfort I had to conquer...
This journey is going to give you the gift of self-knowledge, and opportunity to learn/grow/be your authentic self. Even though my story is still being written, I wouldn't trade this journey for one of continued "things as they were"...you could not have convinced me a year ago that I would be feeling/thinking/saying that today, though....
Though you (we) don't know what the plan is, let God do his thing, ask him for YOUR North Star and pursue that, leave W to God, he will show you when and how you need to act, if act at all, if you get your ego out of the way and listen with your quiet, "more than you" self.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
