Not at all, those are wise words indeed You are quite right, it goes both ways. I made mistakes and she did too. We both became parents at the expense of our marriage, we just put it on autopilot and quit working at it. The ring is just one of many examples of how I lost touch with what her LL needs are, but there are plenty of examples of how she lost touch with mine as well. I do beat myself up now and then over my mistakes, but only enough to remind myself of what my 180's are so I don't make the same mistakes again
You are quite right, it goes both ways. I made mistakes and she did too. We both became parents at the expense of our marriage, we just put it on autopilot and quit working at it. The ring is just one of many examples of how I lost touch with what her LL needs are, but there are plenty of examples of how she lost touch with mine as well. I do beat myself up now and then over my mistakes, but only enough to remind myself of what my 180's are so I don't make the same mistakes again 
