Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

H and I got into it a tiny bit this am... I think at the crux of some of our issues is that he feels like I don't listen to him. I won't call it an argument, but we got into it over S8's soccer shorts of all things. All the boys wear their game shorts to practice and I said S8 couldn't do that. H thinks S8 feels left out. I said I didn't want to wash them constantly, which was my only argument against him wearing the shorts.

Instead of saying, "Yeah, I know, it's a pain, but I think it's important" he just takes it as if I think his opinion doesn't matter - or that I just do what I want regardless of what he thinks - and then he gets defensive and hostile. Accuses me of arguing with him. But when I tried to say, "this is no big deal" he kept going. Who cares about the dumb shorts? I was perfectly willing to just let it go.

This is clearly part of the process that has to be addressed. It's his preconceived notion that I don't think what he says is valid, so the hair stands up and the claws come out over nothing. This has happened over and over again, and it really spoils anything good that we might have going.

Breakdown, does this sound familiar to you? Does it fit your pattern?