I'm thinking it's has to do with a few things that my mood has improved this morning:
1. I'm back at my regular workout routine... Forcing myself to wake up a few hours early in the morning to hit the gym... Now I've got to get back into mixing in my afternoon workouts as well and I'll be right back to "normal".
2. It's been 5 days since the interaction with my W, so maybe I'm starting to be able to process it a little bit more... Focus more on the positives that came from it and let the negatives simply be reminders of the 180s I need to continue to work on.
3. I'm reminding myself that <b>I<\b> choose to be happy or sad... optimistic about my sitch or depressed about it... So like I said above... I'm going to keep focusing on figuring out new ways to be happy, focusing on the positives that came out of my W's visit, and the very real possibility that I have a very bright future ahead of me... Hopefully W is part of it... But that's not something I can really control, so there's no need to continuously think about it.
It DID feel good to defend my W against some of the attacks my friends threw her way last night... even if it was depressing to hear them. Like has been said on my threads a few times : Feel free to attack the actions, but not the person... Because this is who I choose to love... this is who I choose to fight for... and if you're not by my side, then I'm going to have to leave you behind.
I'm going to go focus on knocking out a good day of work now. Thank you guys for your support! Sorry if I'm a little back and forth here... As you all know... This is a CRAZY hard time.
Oh, and on a side note, I had to forward W a work related email today (as she's still working for the company I own). During her visit, after I asked that she not contact me while OM is in the picture, she asked if that included work-related stuff... I SHOULD have done a "Hmmmm... Let me think about that"... BUT instead I said "I'm not sure... but maybe that's for the best"... It's a bit of a sticky situation there, but I'm having to look out for the company and separate the personal from it. If she responds to the email, no problem... And if she doesn't... No problem, as I'm sure she'll get the work done... I may have to revisit this in the future... But we shall see!
