Cycles mean reaching out to you, then pulling away, then getting closer, then pulling away. You know the drill. I see a steady, slow improvement (best kind.)
R with OM sounds like an EA. I think she enjoys the thrill of it, and even the drama. She seeks attention. Try to not give attention to her when you see her contacting the OM (like to a toddler having a tantrum) and maybe this will help. Her recount of her conversation with IC is to get a reaction (attention) from you. Only listen. No reaction.
I think you're incredibly strong: you're being a good father, are still trying to save your M and are being kind to your W even when she behaves irrationally. You're going to work and staying physically active. You're not letting this take your life away. So feel proud of yourself.
