Now Separated, Am I doing the right things?

[Denver_2010]

I agree that he is not pressuring her... what I see is the potential that she may perceive it as such. My W has told me that there were things that I did, like invite she and SS to a movie, that she felt pressure from. She said that there were times during our S when we were hanging out and spending time together where she would feel like she had to say yes to something that I would invite her to, when in reality, she was feeling more like she needed space from me. She can see now that I wasn't trying to pressure her at all... it was merely where she was emotionally that made her perceive it as such.

What does he have to lose? You are probably right, and if he were in a 'hail mary' (football reference) situation, I would definitely agree; go for it. But he's not. It seems to me that he's beginning to open an inroad to maybe reestablishing a connection with his W. If she feels like he is moving too fast by talking marital retreat, or if she perceives that he is pressuring her, she may move farther away from him.

The squirrel story comes to mind. If you want to get a squirrel to eat a nut out of your hand, you absolutely cannot make any loud noises or big movements. The squirrel will get scared and run away.