Thanks again AnotherStander, I bought the DR book and read it but only once. I'm going to read it again. It did give me hope and the techniques it talks about seem really good. I just have a hard time figuring out how to apply some of those to my very situation. And the GAL thing, I didn't do too well. Before this all happened, since we were staying at different cities for school, I went out so often cuz I wanted to feel independent. And now, I do not want to go out with anyone. I feel like that is not my way of GAL at the moment, but I haven't figured out how to find my way of GAL yet. But I'm better at adjusting my mood now, and I don't cry so much anymore. I see this whole thing more clearly now, although, I can't help feeling sad/regretful thinking about it. I need to learn to deal with this.
And yeah, I do notice that I've changed, some good, some bad. I'm working on my bad changes right now, I'm thinking about writing all my bad behavior down on a piece of paper and see if i could cross some off someday....
I just can't help feeling like I messed EVERYTHING up.....although I do know that he contributed to this as well.....
And again, thanks for understanding!!! My biggest issue I think is I "can't " change. I promised I'd change but my old behavior gets back....I think that's why my H stopped believing me (and of course, right now, I really don't know what he's thinking, so...I'm just assuming)....I'll work on that part too. I gotta keep my positive changes.
