Would appreciate some advice. H and I are in a better place and are building on the positives. Not getting needs met from him and not really expecting to. Getting most of my needs met by GAL for now. I accept this because I understand where he is at in the MLC journey.
My S18 and D20 have struggles with him. He is detached from them and not too interested in his relationships with them or anybody currently. Sometimes I conflict with my kids because they think I am acting like a doormat. I try to get them to see things from H perspective and tell them that I will no longer come between their R with their father. They are uni students and need support but they are still old enough to move on if they really don't like being at home IMO. I've told them at this stage my R with their father is important to me and I will continue to work on it.
They have to work on their R with their dad if that is what they want and likewise him. I am sorry for them and love them but I won't be the meat in the sandwich any longer. So I validate validate both parties, but will not intervene in their squabbles.
I wondererd if anybody has the same experiences. My DB coach told me I needed to DB the kids at home also. So that is what my approach is these days.
Any suggestions would be welcome. Thanks in advance.
