I have seen this a dozen times, and I see it in my wife as well. I know exactly how you feel about being depressed. As a HD male, your despression is DIRECTLY caused by your wifes LACK of desire. I know EVERY single time I get depressed, and it ALWAYS is when I see other couples touching, kissing, etc. Or when I see my wife kiss and hug OTHER people. LD women have a VERY different perspective on the world, they see their own happiness as something that THEY control, and therefore they apply this same principal to us HD men. Your wife and my wife are both telling us that WE are responsible for our own happiness, like getting a new hobby is going to FUFLFILL US! What a freakin' joke! What makes us happy is to have a LOVER!!!!! Oops, that requires work on THIER PART!!!!! Dr. Laura has it COMPLETELY right, that a man is DEPENDANT upon his wife for his emotions. Sex is a PRIMARY way of expressing emotions, and when our ND wifes do not give us sex, they DENY us the ability to PROCESS and Communicate our emotions. It does not work that way for her, and from what she has commented to you about, she obviously has NO CLUE as to how men work. Literally she(like my wife as well), is telling you that you are unattractive because you display MALE traits. She is projecting her LD female traits ONTO YOU as being the desirable traits.
I think what is happening here is something that I have seen other LD women talk about, they desire men that DON"T have strong sexual desires. They want a man that wants them for everything OTHER then sex, and thus by being a whole lot less sexual, you will become attractive again to them. THey want men that just KNOW that they are loved, they do not want to have to actually SHOW that they love you. Attractive men to them are men that have the SAME love language as they themselves have. The ND women has her desired way of expressing love, and they want a man that likes to receive it that way. Just one problem with this, a HD male is physical touch, and that is the LAST love language that a ND female wants to have to learn.
Quote: I was informed that all the sex in the world would do nothing to help me feel better, that it was all inside of me and that it is up to me to find happiness within myself.
This to me shows that she has NO CLUE as to how relationships work. If a woman comes home from a hard day at work, she may want to TALK it out, to express her emotions. If a GUY has the same hard day at work, the first thing he needs is MIND BLOWING SEX (in effect, his way of talking it out).
I think that deep down, ND women KNOW that they are failing the relationship. They want US HD guys to FIND our OWN happiness, because they do not know how men work, and even if they did, they just don't know where to get the DESIRE from within themselves. They really truly don't know WHY they have so little desire, so they lash out at YOU as the cause.
I have said it before, it's all about testosterone. You have it to burn, she obviously does not have enough, or her body does not know how to use it. I really believe that VERY deep down in all ND women, they have a testosterone problem. Thes women don't have that NATURAL desire kick. Now this does not mean it is hopeless, it's just that they need to find ANOTHER way to get that kick, and they are either not finding that way, or they are not even trying to find another way.
It seem that happy marriages are more or less luck of the draw, if you marry someone of equal desire it sure makes things a WHOLE lot easier, and the GREATER the discrepency, the HARDER it will be to build a great marriage.
