Quote: I feel like i am being manipulated again and its hard for me to keep my thoughts straight.
Just remember that in this country, if it looks like a rose, and it smells like a rose, it IS indeed a rose.
Simply put, yes, she is ATTEMPTING to manipulate you. The only way she can succeed, however, is with your permission. Tell her you think her take on things are, if not interesting, certainly one-sided. And while you understand that both parties need to work on themselves in order to improve a relationship, her completely denying your needs are just that. A denial. It is MUCH easier to make this YOUR problem rather than have to admit there is something DIFFICULT she may have to face about herself, and what's more, CHANGE it.
You don't have an itimacy issue here, you have an enormous self-centeredness problem. HER being completely stuck in her own point-of-view. First she tells you she wants you to be more mentally and physcially fit (which translates to mean that she doesn't want you to complain, and she wants you to walk around being 'manly.') Then in the next breath she tells you you must actively imporve yourself and find something that the two of you can do together... which often involves 'talking' and 'sharing emotions,' which earlier she pointed out to you, was a TURN OFF. You are not to do things WITHOUT HER, but you must be able to read her mind and divine what it is the two of you can do TOGETHER, because you know this instinctively, because you know her SO WELL.
Then you are left feeling as though you are being manipulated. Hm. I wonder why?
I'm not saying there are not things you could or should change about yourself. I'm not saying she doesn't have justifiable needs that could or should be met. What I am saying is, to me, your wife clearly does not have her priorities straight, nor does she have a friggin clue what she DOES want, and she is going to keep you hopping and guessing, making it YOUR problem, so you can fix both yourself and HER.
Please. If I were you, I'd tell if and when she ever can figure out what she DOES want, and when she feels she can make room in her life for your needs as well to give you a call. Until that time, you are over and out.
