Now Separated, Am I doing the right things?

[25yearsmlc]

Hi 25,

I am taking your post one step at a time. In terms of W drinking. My guess is her emotional wall came up years ago. There was no “emotional connection.” I was hoping it was in her, but it just wasn't.

this^^^ is really vague and incomplete. But if I understand your point then let me say this:

You CREATE & MAINTAIN a connection in a marriage. It's not something that lands on you.

Sure "great chemistry" usually happens at the start of a r, but it does not last on its' own. WE nurture it and we grow it and we protect it.

Sometimes we have to go rediscover it or re-create it but that's what it means. It's not just "present!" or "not there".


IMO, YOU chose not to address that issue for a long time.

What were you afraid of?

Dig deep.



I am thinking that women need to have the emotional connection and that equals the physical connection, there tied together. So, you know what booze does. I can only assume this has something to do with my sitch. Thoughts?

yes they are tied together, usually.

And yes it "Has something to do with your sitch" ---- b/c it IS your sitch.

One huge factor and big part of the marriage- is your sex life.

And you guys have a big red flag in your sex life.

I guess my question is, what is your question?

I mean, of course the sex life issues are related to the marital issues/situation.

YOU have to figure out whether there were emotional, "technical" and or historical factors that played into it.

But if I were you,

I'd do a lot of communication/listening, and NOT a lot of mind reading on this.