I find myself looking forward to the possibility that my H might call tonight, and I don't want to do that. I seriously spent 9 months making sure I basically had no expectations. H moves out and I suddenly feel like I'm acting like a puppy who hasn't been fed.
I don't want to act like that. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to hear his voice. I miss him like nobody's business. *sigh*
Headed to a Condo Association meeting to distract myself, then I'll try to find something on TV to distract me.
Remember that a lot of DB’ing is counter intuitive. What you are feeling is normal, however you are recognizing the difference between what you want to do versus what you should do.
The key is doing what you should do, which you are. Keep it up Ro.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
No phone call from H, but I did get a text apologizing and saying he'd call today. I told him he didn't have to call if he didn't want to. He just responded that he'd call today. Really weird exchange. It would be mindreading if I said I knew why he didn't call, so I haven't allowed myself to go there. I just hope he eventually talks to someone about what is going with him.
I've been thinking about everyone's posts and how I have to be open to help, and how loving my H from afar, and focusing on being an even better me, might be the only way anything good will come out of this. But right now all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and get through each day as it comes.
RoRoinMD, I feel your pain. It's anguish. I hate that feeling. Parent yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, how am I going to take care of RoRoinMD today? She needs a lot of love and support. How can I give that to her?
I have an ice cream cone everyday while reading my meditation books after I have a healthy lunch. That's one way of parenting myself. ;-)
Take care sweety!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Hang in there Ro. you can do this. I believe in you.
Thinking of you today and everyday (((( )))
p.s. vero I LOVE the ice cream treat!
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thanks everyone! I'm so tired today. I think my body is ready to shut down from the stress of the past 9 months!
Just talked to H. It felt so weird hearing his voice after a week of not talking to him. The convo felt strained, like we both didn't know what to talk about or something. Reminds me of when we first started dating, actually.
It didn't make me feel sad or anything. It was just weird. I am glad to hear his voice. He doesn't sound good though. I feel kinda sorry for him that he's so lost, and won't/can't ask for help.
So, I made an appointment with one of the DB Coaches, Chuck. I normally talk to Cheryl, but she isn’t on the schedule this week, and probably not next week either. I have one session left, so I figured I might as well use it now.
I’m not sure how much advice he can give me at this point. I mean what else do you do when your spouse walks out but go dark and GAL? Maybe he can say the one thing that will help me pull my life back together…
