Don’t let these ^^^ circumstances drive your choice for what YOU want for YOU.
Remaining fearful and in a R that YOU do not want to be in because of the above does YOU no good. I am not promoting you leaving…just sayin that if you based your choices on FEAR they tend to be the wrong choices LONG TERM.
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I am a class one doormat
Probably because of the above.
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taught me to walk on egg shells and keep my mouth shut.
Probably because of the above.
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Staying together until the twins turn 18 in two years does make sense so I'm fairly sure I want that.
Why? So you do not have to deal with the issues above?
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I want a viable job and money put away so I am not so totally dependent on anyone else.
Do you want this ^^^ ?
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I feel my primary goal should be to get a job but I don't want to do retail over the holidays, and my unemployment will last until about Feb.
Or is this ^^^ easier?
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How do I go on this way? How am I not supposed to read into his behavior that he DOESN'T intend to leave? How do I keep my sanity?
IMO, you stop what appears to be a pattern. IMO, you write down the things that YOU need to do for YOU and you begin the LONG hard journey or working towards YOUR goals. IMO, you start to coming to the realization that you have become codependent on your H and you are operating with fear.
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I don't understand this at all. He treats me just the same and sometimes I wonder if I imagined "the bomb".
Why would he treat you any different? Have YOU changed anything?
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And not being able to discuss it with him makes it even more bewildering.
There will come a time when you will realize that YOU do NOT have to discuss everything with him.
Mrsrjd, I am sorry if I am coming across hard on you. I just see a bad pattern here and it really pisses me off and it has nothing to do with your H. Actually more to do with you.
What do you really want in your life MRSRJD? I mean really…aside from him. What dreams honey to you have? What goals do you want to work for…for YOU..not him.
Sweetie, we get one shot at this world…just one. We have to learn to make the best of it and to live it like it is what it is, which is ONE LIFE.
Stop thinking about him and what his butt is doing and start thinking for a minute about YOU and what it is that YOU really want.
This crap is hard, very hard, but it can also be a blessing in disguise…….if you allow it to be.
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There have been 3 affairs that I know of
I am usually not this blunt – but YOU deserve better than this ^^
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans