Hairdog, She has lost trust in me because I have broken my promise to be with her forever and not to leave. That's her view and feelings. I still find it hard to put any of this on her. I still feel guilty for leaving and place or assume a lot of blame upon myself. I feel like such a bad person that all this has happened. I'm working on turning that around and doing positive things for myself.
CeMar - Ihave read your postings for a while now. I identify very much with the pain you have been feeling. I don't know if things can be fixed. In some ways i am afraid to make the attempt, fear of a lot of hard work leading to nothing. W will be out of town for a week, i didn't want to shake things up before she goes and ruin her trip so there has been no R talk for a week. When she gets back I will try again. It is tough. Every R talk we have had for years seems to end up with me taking all the blame and because i'm upset its my fault and i have to fix myself. I am not good when she starts to turn it around like that and flounder and just suck it up and feel bad. I need to find someone that can help us communicate and figure out if we can work this out.
