Quote: I think what hairdog is asking you is: has she seen a doctor about these ailments?
as i said above. she has seen a doctor and is taking care of everything except sexual issues. SHe feels she doesn't have a problem that way and will not talk to a doctor about it.
Quote: That would be my first condition upon re-entering the marital home. The second one would be a sex therapist. Under no circumstances do I believe you should go back because of guilt--after all, she doesn't seem to be feeling one lick of guilt over abandoning her position as your wife.
Yes. She doesn't see that that's what has happened. At this point it is not something that i will be able to get through to her. And yes, i feel and extreme amount of guilt about all this.
Quote:
There are legitimate claims towards pain during sex and most of these have been shown to be psychological in nature. As far as her feeling that her insides are being ground to bits, well, if she is laying there thinking that she hates having sex and she is so resentful of you for forcing her to do this...I mean, can you see how a person can start to focus on the sensations and give them a negative connotation, when they are doing something they don't want to do?
Yes, which is why i never pressed the issue, and i will not ever expect intercourse with her again
Quote: Most of the advice you will get here is to be compassionate and loving but to stand your ground. There is no reason to be hateful to her but you must treat her as an adult and stop accepting her inaction (in regards to her pain) as a legitimate course of action.
GOOD LUCK to you!
thank you. I'm still having a hard time dealing with this situation. I'm working on taking care of myself so that I then have the strength to deal with the marriage.
And to everyone on the boards, thank you so much for your postings..when i found this board (before i knew of the book), i started reading about things that i could identify and i started to understand what was causing me problems and what was going on inside.
