I would love nothing more than to focus on his crap attitude and treatment. And I agree, it's not right. However, who's to say when is the appropriate time for him to come around? I guess that's the counter argument. I've been advised not to push him and let him come around on his own time and terms.
So yes, I acknowledge that he's not pulling his weight, he's not contributing and he's not trying. I acknowledge that he's been punishing me. I acknowledge that it's not fair right now. But I'm putting all that aside for the moment in the hopes that giving him some space/not pursuing will allow him to come back. This isn't something I'd be willing to put up with forever.
I think this is awesome Regret. You are aware, and you are patient. Eventually you may have to change gears if he doesn't move at all, but when that is is up to you.
I agree with 25 in that you have to stand up for yourself, to not be treated like crap, or punished if you will, just because your H is still trying to deal with his pain. If you feed that part of him, I think it's taking a step back. But I think you can do that while still being patient and understanding.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
He said, "Thanks for taking care of everything else." Wow, he's noticed! I've been working my butt off with the boys and the financial stuff and now getting ready for this camping trip this weekend.
It sounds like you are seeing some baby steps. Good for you! A lot of times I think of how I'd like my M to be in 5 years. Assuming I get there, and I looked back on it then, what would have been the first signs of it turning around? Sometimes that just helps me see and appreciate those baby steps.
