I guess the first question that sprang to my mind is what has she done to address her medical issues? Were they always an issue, even early on? (Because if they were, you kind of ignored that red flag, didn't you? Not trying to be a jerk here, I certainly ignored my share of red flags, too.)
She has addressed the medical issues of her body in general but not anything specifically about the sexual part. She is convinced that it is all the responsibility of her genetic makeup and that's that. The that the joint problems were causing pain with sex became known to me about 5 years into the marriage. Not sure whether this is when they started to manifest or when I finally new about it. The internal pain was recent news to me, although i have been told that i have been told about that for years as well...I will take responsibility for not hearing that as such an extreme thing as it seems to be. OF course because of her pain (the joints) was another reason that i backed off too. I didn't want to cause her pain. I think we devolved into a situation where she avoided sex (and intimacy because of fear of sex) and I avoided rejection, thereby making our problems worse.
