Hi NG...you have expressed your feelings and fears so well. You touched something within me. Its like i know i am feelings things but can articulate it until i read it here.

It seems that at this point in the journey there is not much to do but focus on ourselves. anything we 'do' with S has to come from a genuine place, and that is very hard. so while their is anger, maybe staying still is the best option so YOU can process how you are feeling and heal and then decide your next step.This can be an empowering time i believe...if not a very challenging one, because i think its at this time we can feel like doormats because there is no developments happening...its like everything is in a holding pattern despite all of the hard wrk we have done and are still doing.

Its empowering for us...

being a doormat is perspective.

One day the opportunity may come for S to see the real us, the better us.

You are amazing NG. In every way. I love you so much (((( )))

p.s. I really like what Cadet said...the door being open in the sense that you are not in a R with someone else....

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home