It seems like you and I are alot alike. Sometimes I wonder why I am sitting here while he's out having an affair. Sometimes I just feel so alone. No matter how many friends and family call and come by it seems no one really knows what I am feeling. I get angry sometimes because I just want to be loved. I want my H to have the same passion for me that he does for the OW. I want to have my H compliment me again and tell me I am beautiful. I think I took those things for granted. Now it is up to me to believe I am beautiful. If we don't learn from the sitution we are in we will be no better off. I am learning that I forgot about the passionate side of me. I got so wrapped up in my career and having babies and planning for the future I forgot about the now. So all I know for now is I need to be happy. What makes up happy. Sometimes I listen to a song in the car and I start to sing and I am happy. It's the little things and living in the present. Appreciating everything I do have. I hope you can do the same. I know some of this may sound weird but I don't know how else to look at it. My life is in turmoil and I can let it continue to bring me down or I can try and keep going. I hope you do go on your trip. Go and only call home to talk to the kids. Don't ask how he is doing. Don't call him. Let him call you and then just be nice but short and see what happens. I would love to talk to you on the phone if you ever want. It seems like it would be easier than emailing. Keep in touch. It's nice to have someone to talk to about these things that understands. Thank you
