he told my oldest son he is mad at me because i smother him, i never thought i did.
Take his word for it. He's telling you that you need to give him time and space, give it to him. Really think about your actions and what you're doing to make him feel smothered. This is the perfect time to detach and GAL, he's basically telling you to.
Originally Posted By: Shewolf076
Had a bad day today, started losing it emotionally, I called H and said we could of went with him since he is taking his nieces and nephews out fishing he could be doing this with his sons, so he got mad of course.
That's a great example of smothering and applying pressure. Don't do it!! The hardest part of DB'ing for all of us is doing the opposite of what our instincts are. Our instincts are to beg, plead, reason, explain, justify, etc. These things DO NOT work! They are all pressure, pressure, pressure! The WAS needs NO pressure! They need time and space to sort things through on their own without our intervention.
Originally Posted By: Shewolf076
Wtf I need a vacation from this pain, he just seems so selfish to me. I'm having a hard time. How do I keep going?!
He IS selfish. Nearly all WAS's are. Get used to it, it's going to be this way for quite a while. We keep going by constantly reading DR, posting here, supporting each other and reminding ourselves this is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be many ups and downs along the way.
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What did I do?! Why am I such a bad person to him?! I don't understand this is such a nightmare! I want it to stop.
We all go through these thoughts! Your WAS has rewritten history and made you a bad person. Don't take it personally, just remember your gameplan and stick to it. Do things to remind yourself that you are a great person. Pick up new hobbies, meet old friends, get out and make new ones.
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I texted him last night that I miss us and I hope he relaxes and has fun on his trip, no response of course. What does that mean?
It means you're still smothering him. Stop the texts. If he texts you then wait a while to reply and keep it short. No "I miss you" stuff.
